Excuses for missing school: when parents show off their spelling
Saturday, July 26th, 2008We all had a good laugh today reading through a collection of excuse notes (supposedly) written by American parents, with their spelling errors preserved:
- “My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.”
- “Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”
- “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.”
- “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.”
- “Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.”
- “Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.”
- “Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.”
- “Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.”
- “Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.”
- “Dear School: Excuses
Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.” - “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.”
- “Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”
- “I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.”
- “My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.”
- “Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.”
- “Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.”
As recorded by http://madtbone.tripod.com/school.htm.
Hopefully you haven’t seen any off-school notes quite as concerning as number 9, or quite as dumb as number 10. But if you’d like to share any funny ones you have seen (or used), then you can reply to this post.
search the internet for the last 5 press-covered examples of people cycling from Land’s End to John O Groats, and discuss the successes, issues, and charities concerned;
It’s my experience that bikes are nowhere near as popular with the 10-16 year olds as they were, say, 10 years ago. There seem to be fewer kids on bikes and certainly less images of children and adults on bikes than there were only a few years ago. I’ve been polling my friends and colleagues about some reasons why this is so. Perhaps it is down to Lance Armstrong never being able to shake off the rumours of substance abuse, despite his legacy and hero status in America. Could 
Maybe you’re always trying to stop children jumping in your school pond, or being pushed in. In which case, it probably doesn’t help much to hear that grown men actually jump in muddy ponds / bogs for fun!